Dark Spoof News Stories

A hotel maid from West Africa discovered the best way to get rich without the need for an MBA or thousands of dollars in investment capital.

The maid is a brilliant entrepreneur who invested her time without any capital to make a seven figure profit.

The maid who is extremely needy and at one time developed sticky fingers with the hotel soap bars, towels, tampons, and toilet paper has seen her days of poverty come to an end because of her quick thinking and the perfect get rich plan.

Her money making opportunity came when a coworker was not available to work on the top floor of the Sofitel luxury hotel where she was employed. The top floor of the hotel contains the $3000.00 a night rooms and she quickly volunteered to get access to the rooms of the wealthy to look for opportunities. At first her intentions were to hunt for items left behind in the rooms like luxury watches, rings, and wallets full of cash, but her lucky chance came when she went into one room and found a wealthy old man walking naked out of the shower. At that moment her heart started to race with excitement and she quickly calculated a tactic to make her dreams come true. She decided to accuse him of a rape after having sex with him, so she could settle out of court for several million dollars. She knew all she needed was to have his sperm in her vagina to have evidence to prove her false rape charge. After that, she told herself that a huge out of court settlement would fall into her hands and she would live like a wealthy heiress for the rest of her life.

Pimps in wealthy countries have been using similar methods to get multi-million dollar settlements by using their girls to make false accusations against rich men. Setting up a rich man is a more luxcrative prospect than pimping girls out for small amounts of money.

The maid's get rich quick business idea worked like a charm because friends of the old man secretly contacted the accusing maid's impoverished family, offering them money to end the case because they can't contact her while she is protective custody.

The maid has an extended family in Guinea, West Africa, out of the jurisdiction of the district attorney who wants to prosecute the man.

The maid will be receiving 7 million dollars plus her attorney fees will be covered and her family is West Africa will be receiving 3 million dollars.

"They already talked with her family. For sure, it's going to end up on a quite note." said a business associate of the man's family. 

Prosecutors in Manhattan, who are practicing attorneys themselves, are happy with the out of court settlement that's helping to support their legal industry.

Her attorney is encouraging more women to bring charges against wealthy men they have relationships with, so they can get a piece of the pie. High priced lawsuits are a billion dollar industry in the states and women can expect to make somewhere between 2 million to 9 million dollars, depending on the man's financial resources.